:S

now only I know,
I will just hurt myself once I care of someone too much.

now only I know,
one who treats me good will become lesser as time passes by.

now only I know,
you might or might not get some redound from the person you're being good to.
yet the one u oways neglected,
are the one who attach importance to you.

now only I know,
one's attitude will has so much difference.

now only I know,
when u're moody,
and 've spoken out something bad,
you couldn't ask ppl to understand you.
they ain't your parent.
see how important ur parent is.

now only I know,
two people who always be together,
not really considered as best friend,
or may be there's no special relation between them.

now only I know,
handphone is to let ppl to find you only when they need you,
but not to strengthen the relationship or friendship.

now only I know,
how big difference between the reality and ur own thinking..

now only I know,
I'm growing up and not longer the small kiddo,
have to get use to everything.

now only I know,
the one that considered as a best friend,
might not be the really best sometimes.

now only I know,
without the determination and patience,
u'll fail for everything.

now only I know,
how important is it to have someone to company by my side.

now only I know,
I don't really believe in forever.

now only I know,
there's lot of thing happening out of ur expectations.

now only I know,
the more perfect you demand for,
the more you can't done it well.

now only I know,
tears, being emo,
seriously doesn't solve anything.

now only I know,
people used to think that they're not actually tough,
because they need someone to understand them more.

now only I know,
when u're so alone and got no one to chat to,
u can only ask '' doing wad '' to those who not really close to you.

now only I know,
I find 1am is too early to have a nice sleep..

now only I know,
I really hate to regret on something I've not done.



now only I know,
I got better now -.-
and I wonder what happened just now.
and now seems the bad feeling back again.
sry, I dono what I'm talking -.-



sigh.

eH!
I've been a long time didnt upload my perasan pic >.<
pai seh larrr XD,
camera tak de battery after the last day of schooling,
as you noe who am I,
saya memang sangat lazy :D
do you noe,
how long my phone was abandoned by me :)?
i wonder too, about 4 days?
hmph.
yea,
out of battery again.
tapi ada credit larrr..
to those who everytime cant call me,
pai seh lorhx!
later I go charge lar okay? XD

well,
am gonna put my perasan pics.
picSSSS arh :)
all same shirt >.<
taken today XD
those who find me disgusting,
tolong click the X and leave :D
I wont give any damn about it,
bcuz I got no interest on you ;D



ready?
heee :D


've been a long time tak act cute!
muahahahhaha.
not dare to put on fb,
later all critic on me =.=
so I put here :D
you go no right to stop me from posting it XD
ini blog saya
bluehhh :D

sorry if I really fail in acting cute >.<

fringe ar fringe,
waiting you grow longer :D

love this :)

the difference between with and without spec :)

big head :O

it's original :D
I don't edit picture :)



finished :O
got mood surely will take again XD
I'm actually perasan,
and my personality different with wad u've seen from the pic arh.
I'm not soft one,
but the clumsy and rude one.. XD
and a klutz :D

anyway,
I considered it as a special thing of me :P
live with my own style :)


one more. :D
nak recommend you all something,
promotion time :O

people,
if you found this handfree in pasar malam,
buy it and use bah..
I'm using this,
very useful XD
in white, quite nice one :)
RM10 jek :O
very convinient too :)





gtg :)
mommy suffering from illness :(
may God cure her as soon as possible :(
hate to see her suffering :/



wait for my next post yea :D

sigh

and.

I thought before,
I touched before,
I got feeling before.

and.

I miss before,
I moody before,
I need you before.

and.

I smile before,
I laughed before.
I enjoyed it before..



when things coming to an end,
it will be ended.
when feeling is going to be faded down,
it will be faded..
everlasting is actually fake.
or may be it last,
but feeling, everything gonna be very very different.

and at last,
everything is gonna be summarized into memories.


i'm naive actually,
so seriously.


no one is perfect,
and also few people wanna be the better one.
or it's when you hurt someone,
only you will change.

an advice.
find a true friend,
more than having a big big gangs of friends.
u'll never know how pathetic you are,
until u met troubles,
until something happened out of ur expectations.


let bygone be bygone.
true :)
yet,
from word to deed is actually a big big SPACE.
saying is oways easier den doing it.

R.I.P Alviss Kong..

emo.. :(

whenever I on for fb,
his news appear again and again.
those like pages, videos, comments etc.
I've no idea why will moody bcuz of the video..
or may be I'm just emo-ing again? :(

guess everyone knows that news,
seriously hope that his family and the girl will be fine..
and god bless his mom too who hvn't knew about the tragedy happened :(

he just did what he promised before,
he'll love her till the moment he dies.
and he really did it.
isit the so called power of love?

yea.
for you, u die majestically.
because of love. :)
but. how about ur family and the one u love deeply ?
u got the braveness to suicide,
but u don hv the braveness to survive..
frankly,
you even drag ur love one to hell..
ur dead is her biggest shadow in her life ever.
I noe,
it's not easy to continue ur life after being hurted.
ever heard of '' every cloud has a silver lining '' ?
It is always possible to get something positive out of a situation,
no matter how unpleasant,
no matter how difficult
or
even how painful it might seem.
if everyone die bcuz of the obstacles in life..
many people will go suicide,
and no one will achieve.

Alviss Kong,
I wonder are you suffering now :(
I really hope God can forgive you :(
Please don't be so silly anymore in ur next life.
I've never ever seen any guy like you..
hope u can really rest in peace..

may be I don't really understand ur situation,
but I really hope that,
you can think of ur family and ur ex.
how much hurt u gave to them?
and ur mommy? :(

this is not the first time u attempt suicide,
for ur first ex,
u did silly things like this too.
lucky ur frens had stop you..
but this time,
they tot it was a prank..
they took it as a joke,
and don't give any damn about it.
sigh sigh sigh,
if they concerned about it,
if they informed his dad to becareful with him,
I think this tragedy will not be happened D:

things ad happened,
it's useless for me to talk so much.
I didn't feel angry for the guy,
I just feel wasted and not worth it :(
This incident isn't a fashion at all.
Hope so there will not be another case similar as this.
there is still many people wish for longer lifespan,
to enjoy everything in this world..
think of ur family, ur lovely frens....
please :(

love, is in all aspects.
it's not only the feeling between guy and gurl..
bare in mind on this please.

and the girl,
may be people blaming you right now,
but I don't..
no one did wrong in this case..
shouldn't be blaming anyone for this,
I can ensure that the girl have been few days didnt rest well.
and her eyes probably swelling for crying everyday.
I don't think so she's enjoying for his left.
I just wish that,
she can brace up,
and turn over a new leaf..
I support you....
Hope you'll be alright.. :(

and his family,
take care urself..
and pray for his mommy,
who dono anything about this. :(
my heart is in pain now :(


love,
I don hope to say it's a murderer. :(


it should be something nice, sweet and memorable.


people,
treasure your love one.
please.

failed T.T

somehow,
I wish I've a shoulder for me to lean on..
somehow,
I wish I've muscular chest for me to cry on..

again,
no one could chat with me.
feeling so so so depress :'(
i'm crying again..

today,
right now..
i should be viewing the video which completed by me..
Receiving the complimenting comments from others..
Ying ying cry because get touched..
and others cry of the video..
yet, I failed to do oit..

Ying ying,
sorry for my failure.. :'(
Wai Nean is right, my skill isn't that good..
I did not consider for the time limit to upload video in fb..
the video tat I made is 33 mins,
but fb is 20 mins maximum.
FAILED.
the video is with wishes, pictures etc and etc.
and because of my carelessness,
it ruined :S
how's it?
let say the word should be appear in o:30
but i add one picture in and become all the words appear earlier,
ad clash with other pictures :'(
you will noe if u saw that video.
FAILED.

I always wish for something perfect.
but ended up imperfectly..
can I know why? :'(
if the video isn't made by me..
guess it's be done successfully...
sorry guys,
I ruined it :'(
I'm so sorry..

first day of making that video,
I slept at 4am..
second day,
I slept at 6am,
which is the time my dad woke up for jogging..
and today 7th..
the whole afternoon and night,
I'm doing the video..
I thought it'll be done perfectly,
and I add something in,
and everything ruined...
when I saw it already too late,
already uploaded to the computer and in the process to fb..
sorry,
I'm so sorry..

Ying ying,
I tot I could represent everyone to give u the best bday present ever.
but I failed :'(
really sorry..
the surprise gone..
I'm the one who ruin everything..
Pui man, sorry too :'(

My effort wasted,
My energy wasted,
My time wasted.

Mom nagged me to use the time wisely..
and I use it to do this video..
and ended up so suck like now :'(
it's 8ve..
I wasted half of my holiday..
Sorry mommy,
I'm sorry..
again, I'M STRESSED T.T

4 months something to my piano exam..
I dowan to fail again :'(
But when I played it wrongly,
I have no mood to correct it and proceed my exercise :(
My hands are in pain,
Fingers are in pain..
And I'm seriously lack of patience..

I don't the basic thing that I should have now.
Confidence and strong determination..

My dear Lord,
can you help me? :'(
please listen to my prayer,
and guide me in my way :'(
please.

I dowan to live like this.
I hate to regret so much of thing.

should I repair the video?
should I? :'(

the midnight again.

to the juniors.
appreciate ur days in school.
please, please please.
Save every single pics u've taken.
don delete it.
It's a precious memoriess.

one more year for my secondary school life.
i'm almost F5 now.
and the end of my secondary school life will soon reach in a blink of eye.
the days with school uniform gonna end,
and u'll be head-aching which course to choose,
which college, uni to go..
or continue and masuk F6?
talked with mommy about those things,
bro asked me before..
what to do after F5.
I say dono, very blur.
and he said he was once like me :)

I hate I could never stop the time.
I can only appreciate it :(
I really treasuring what I'm having now :(
Sometimes I did complain..
But still I appreciate.

I've been a long time,
Didn't feel that mom doesn't love me at all..
Last time,
I hurt her alot.
Mommy, sorry :(
and dad.
I need time to forgive, and love you more..
Cause u're not like mommy so nice to be with :(
Whenever u're saying ur body aching,
A lot works to do,
Teeth aching and can only eat those potatoes, taufu etc.
Heart feeling pain :(
and I couldn't do anything. :(
I'm not afraid that I will become older.
I do afraid that both my parents grow older.
Wrinkles everything comes out.
the feeling very sucks :(

what happen to me?
owhh.
yea,
Did watch drama just now :)
yea.
KOREAN DRAMA =.=
stories is special..
and again I have to say.
Too GOOD to be true and happen in reality :)
I know it's fake.
I know I shouldn't watch anymore..
But I can't tahan.. =.=
Sis do want mom too boring at home..
and download so many movies for her.
sighhh :(
I dowan go through my holidays with dramas =.=
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow,
I wonder which TOMORROW gonna be the day I do revision.
LAZY LAZY LAZY.
aiyeeeesh. ! =.=

if tomorrow never comes by ronan keating.
this make the midnight romantic :)
I love the lyrics.
Meaningful.. :)
Imagine,
ur love one sing this to you..
playing piano and dedicate this song to you..
you think back ur memories with him and got touched.
am I expert in day-dreaming?
YES I DO.


No doubt,
Seriously grow up a lot..
so a lot :(
AIYEESSH. =.=


again the lonely night.
with kai ru the only sakai who will stay up late :)
we're the night cats.
and now is 4.04am..
sorry people,
I find it weird to sleep early :(

sigh.
soon will off to bed :)

now only I know,
my blog taught people a lot of things.
still :)
I asked myself to be proud of it.
this is the way we learn :D

little cuty wish.

weeeee :D

new song for my blog.
Forever in love,
By Kenny G.
A saxophonist,
sexayy.!

If I've the chance to learn saxophone,
the first song I wanna learn will be this song ;)
It had been my phone's ringtone for quite a long time :O
and I remember many people has this ringtone with me..
And everytime I heard this song,
I tot my phone is ringing =.=

Nice rite? :D
Guy who plays saxophone is the sexiest for me.
Piano the second XD
My future man,
I seriously hope he knows some instruments
:O

Saxophone!
Sexayy and nice :D
Mummy love it too ;D
I'm affected by her actually
hehehe :)
Wanna earn money as lot as I can next time.
Buy my very first saxophone..
I learn and I teach my mom :D
Or sent my mom to learn it XD
I can't wait for the day.

I wish,
My children will know a lot of instruments.
Like LEE HOM :D
I would've prepare a room for them..
Inside got lot of instruments.
and for sure,
It will be a WHITE GRAND PIANO there.
and,
A WHITE VIOLIN.
it's nice for this two instruments to be in white ;D
I've saw one white violin in Jusco Yamaha centre
But I dono how to play :D
If not for sure I'll be demanding for it :D

My house must be a banglo house,
My parent and parent-in-law,
will be leaving with me
and a Musical room for my children..
Imagine that.
It's so amazing :D

If 2012 never comes,
I do hope the these little cuty wishes will be accomplished.
Needa work hard :O
It used a lot of money,
and follow what God have arranged for me.
I wish,
my husband will be a super FREAKING nice one :D

OMG.
I'm thinking too far again.
SOWIE ;D
I enjoy myself for day-dreaming everyday.
I'm so soli XD

SIAO :S

it's almost 2 am now.
I'm still not in the mood to bed.
may be finish blogging,
only off :)

again,
I emo again. :(
sigh.
I wish there's someone who's as siao as me.
at 2am still not sleeping..
wanna find someone to chat...
yet all's sleeping :(
I'm not alone actually.
But I made myself so alone =.=

I just feel that.
I'm so lousy in everything.
Seriously dislike to put in effort in order to succeed.
Yea, I'm lazy.. :(
I've told you all,
I'm too afraid of those problems :(
I wanna try but I escape it finally :S
I hate, I hatE!
Absolutely hating it!!
:'(

November gonna end.
Promised myself to revise some form 4 stuff,
and use this holiday wisely.
But ended up everyday with lot of excuses.
No doubt,
I'm lazy.
It's driving me to hell =(
How good if u can succeed without putting any efforts.
Tat's impossible.
I know :(
Sorry, I'm just escaping.

I wan go for shopping,
Buy whatever I want..
Don't care for the price,
or cogitate whether it suits me anot.
I saw I like,
then I buy.
AND SOMEONE WILLING TO PAY IT FOR ME.
NO NO NO.
it's not gonna happen =.=
I wish what happen in drama will happen in reality too.
those rich and wealthy one,
Buy whatever things they want,
as long as they've a credit card =.=
If I use my dad's credit card to buy everything I want.
I'll be chased out :)
Seriously wanna try :(
It's a way to release ur stress..
Not only fulfill what you want,
But also release ur stress too :(
How good is it?
Who don't wish for that?
Stupid lar if you dowan =.=

sigh,
again Im day-dreaming for those un-logic stuff. =.=
watched too much dramas.
SIGH.
how good lar if it really happens!!
TUT. :/

off to bed finally :(
Asked mummy not to let me wake up at noon =.=
I'll be feeling regretted for wasting my time again.
I've been a couple of days not eating my breakfast.
you know,
MY LUNCH IS MY BREAKFAST.
MY BREAKFAST IS MY LUNCH.
Applause, lai lai lai!
When I on fb whenever I woke up,
The SPM candidates had updated their status :O
get what I mean?
People finished 2 papers only I woke up :)
Am I amazing?
WEE :D

Off to bed.
I'm serious.
Really off-ing to bed.
Yes I am.
Please trust me -.-
I'M SERIOUS.

argh, siao of feeling too bored.!

A-BU-JIAK! :D

emo emo emo

korean drama,
heart feeling pain whenever I finished all the episodes.
It's with happy ending,
My heart is still in pain.
I'm weird.
And the feeling is more complicated :(
It makes me so freaking emo now.

how good if everything can happen like wad u've seen in drama.
whenever u're sad, happy, angry, feeling so helpless.
and another one appear.
even though he's with a bad purpose,
but it seriously warms ur heart.
and the end the both of them fall in love..
the drama ended with a happy ending.

alright.
don't says that I'm silly.
I am silly indeed :)
How good if things can happen like wat's happening in drama,
a fairytale love story,
everyone hopes for it. :(
sorry,
am day-dreaming =.=
things that happened in drama seemed to be very easy,
but actually it isn't.
no wonder some parents don allow their children to watch too much dramas.
seriously got no advantage =.=
It makes u dream more about those un-logic things.
but, why it can't happen in reality :(

those setbacks seriously made me downcast.
don't feel like getting up anymore.
wanna be tough,
yet it's seriously not an easy thing :(
I asked others to be tough.
yet to take action,
it will be harder than what you said...




the best motivation video ever.
'' if I fail and I gave up, do you think I'm able to get up? NO.''
what he said touched me.
Edison, a well know inventor.
He invented the electric light bulb,
which wad we're using now..
Someone told me,
he've tried more than hundred times.
and us?
not more than 5 times and we gave up.
To brace up and get up,
The strength and the motivation are seriously important.
I noe I shouldn't give up easily.
But I'm lost without the strength and the motivation.
I though I'm good,
But actually I'm not.
Being too confident,
Sometimes it will lead u too the biggest disappointment.

One day,
I wish to tell people,
I get up myself.
I braced up myself.
With no mercy from others,
and I did everything myself and I got successful.

It's a little frustration.
Why am I getting so furious and feeling gloomy for it?
I dowan to fail the second time.
I hate to know that,
When I fall I have to find someone to brace myself up.
I'm now 16 years old :'(
When I got to be independent?
Mummy will not always be with me.
Friends will one day got annoyed for all my problems.
I'm the most important one for myself when I've problem.
It's just the beginning of the journey of my life.
I've a lot to go.
Giving up so easily will lead me to succession?
I need the strength.
God, guide me :(

Tears which can express everything out.
But it isn't something which can help you everytime.
It helps you to get better,
but now solving all the problems.
Crying doesn't solve all the matters.
It shows how fragile you are.

SPM next year.
I think I'll collapse again like wad happened during PMR.
Piano next year.
And now I got stressed.
I do not really enjoy it anymore,
why ? :'(
Saw others who learned music,
they're so addicted to it.
Why didn't I ?
No one exerts pressure on me.
I request too much succession to myself.
I wanna prove to my parents.
But it's like,
I did everything for them. :(
When I'll know,
Everything I worked hard is for my own good?
I'm afraid to fail.
But if I'm so coward to try everything.
I'm not gonna success :(

I wish to be independent.
Not to dream that there's a shoulder for me to lean on.
Not to dream that there's a muscular chest for me to lean on.
Not to dream that there will be a warm hug for me to cry and express everything out.
I dowan to act like I'm very tough.
I wanna be the seriously tough one. :(

God,
guide me please.
I hate to fall down again.

the naked truth =(

truth.
get to know what it means.
it hurts people,
it's an unacceptable fact,
and even no one will accept it.


fakeness.
it's too kind,
people accept it,
and even feel more comfortable with it.



a naked truth.
is always the unacceptable one.



I wonder,
should I be true anymore.
as I knew I hurt people again.
So,
keep it and express out my feeling with someone.?
no.
it considered as betraying ur friend.
so..
wad can I do?

choose.
be true to u = I hurt you and u'll dislike me.
be fake to u = I betray you, u dono and I'm still ur friend.
i'm curious if this case happening on me.
which should I choose.
and people,
which u willing to choose? :)


sad to know that.
I'm not able to comfort my own friend.
sad to know that.
when I sad,
the first who I share my problems with.
will never be my best friends..
I looked so pathetic actually..
hehe haha here and there.
chat with this abit,
laugh with that abit..
when come to my problems,
I seriously dono who to talk with.
cuteNYA.
well, not ur fault.
it's my problem..
I blame no one for this...
:)

It's almost 4.30am now,
Im still not sleeping yet.
Why?
cause my fb and msn is on-ing.
nice excuse..
Keep on refreshing my home page in fb.
I got nothing to do but haven't off =)
Good job.
Applause please.. :)
Off to bed ba..
nitez everyone...

accept it or ignore.
try it..
I've tried,
I've ignored..
and now I seriously forgotten,
wat's happening last time .

holidays!

hey, I'm back again!
am free from every burdens. :D
exam finally OVER.
f5 is leaving :(
aihs, next year is my turn to be taken pic with.
i'll miss u all.
especially my prefects seniors..
thanks for everything tat contributed by u all =)
good luck in ur SPM.!

anyway,
had a great day yesterday..
with dear the whole day..
for her bday :)
enjoyed it very much.
especially the DPC's tom yam..
u wouldn't know how SPICY isit if u dont try it..
anyway,
super CHI GEK.
HOT AND SPICY.
love it super much.
as i've expected to eat tom yam for a long time.
and tat day was a COLD DAY.
awwwww,
i miss it seriously..
yes u're right.
i got my natural sexy lips again.
Nop,
didnt use any lipstick..
when i eat spicy things,
for sure my lips will be swollen in red!
it's super nice.. :O

skipped school today.
when I woke up,
people was gonna end their school time -.-
Slept late and woke up late.
this is the super good habit...
u dono how popular isit,
it's happening to every teenagers.
NO LA,
its exaggerating.. :P
ALMOST every lar XD

anyway,
THANKS GOD.
i can get scholarship next year again.!
my average marks is ngam for the conditions given.
thanks PMR.
You scared me last year,
and now I not dare not to study for exam :O
and I wonder how deadly will the future students be -.-
Form 3 no PMR..
good is no nid stress..
bad is they wouldn't have a lesson for it.
as ur basic is sucks.
u're just gonna suffer...
hope those students can learn about this.
concentrate about studies..
if not,
the one who cries are the one who fail.

this holiday,
mummy ask me to study :O
today baru start lar..
and.
holiday..
HAHAHA.
housework almost all I did :(
I've to help mom,
but im seriously lazy :S
December den have to pack my house..
something like gotong-royong like tat.
and i'm gonna see a lot of ashes for cockroaches..
mummy put a lot of those poison things to let them die :O
I HATE THEM SO FREAKING MUCH. -.-
black and smelly like hell..
and now,
MICE in my house.
ad caught one,
and seemed the number increasing..
we found another two..
one die today..
another one still hiding..
mummy bought one cage.
i'm expecting to see how they'll be caught inside the cage.
they're actually cute.
but being in my house.
u're just ugly and dirty u little SHIT.
=.=

SPM next year.
I HATE IT.
:(
I cannot withstand the stress..
I cannot face it.
PMR a small test.
I cried for two hours for the stress =.=
I just hope.
my SPM result wont be tat SUCKS.
as my mom spend money for my tuition,
and everything on me :(
I wish I'll make her proud..
I do love her seriously :)

I said I'm gonna study for this holiday.
OOOOH.
can I do it -.-?
I need someone to press me.
if not I wont move.
when I'll be independent HUH.


sigh.
things tat I've lost.
please appear as soon as possible..
GOD, please.
let it appears.
thanks for my bio tuition notes to appear again..
this time.
I prayed again.
I hope I didnt lost it..
I'm seriously guilty for it T.T
please my dear Lord :(
I hope I found it one day.
the best is tomorrow...
please..
I'm so guilty for it :(

off to bed,
nites people!

tat's the fact.
ignore, accept, improve.
i got my style..
im good enough for those thing to happen =.=
anyway,
i'll just improve myself more and more.
I shouldn't be caring bcuz of the small matter.
I know,
this is how we learn :)

everything :P

people,

I'M BACK.


but not from the end of the final exam.
Anyway,
8 down, 2 more to go!
which is add math and physics ;D
orps,
my weaker subjects :O

no one likes exam.
whenever i woke up early in the morning,
I will be caught by flu.
ah chiu ah chiu ah ah ah chiuuuu.. hoo!
wad u will be used to hear this in my class.
i hate it.
it's just suffering =.=

taking rest.
am gotta start add math revision later.
God bless me to concentrate please.
It's hard for me to concentrate nowadays,
brain is like something stucked inside...
kinda frustrated with it.
sigh. :(

dying for chemistry test yesterday.
argh :(
understood everything actually,
but the paper 1 frightened me,
and i got everything confused.
feel like crying too :/
aim for B enough.
no C please,
it's ugly :/

close topic about exam kay..

...........................................................................................................


Anyway,
just know about the news,
that 2012 seriously gonna happen.
the scientists say so.
my english is sucks,
so go to my facebook page and find for the news.
but it's in chinese lar :O
i just noe that after 21 of December,
we'll be gone through 3 days with temperate zero degree Celsius.
no sun.
it's like we're gonna be frozen.
and many people will died.
the reason why,
it's hard for me to explain about it.
but 3 days after,
which is almost near to Christmas,
there will be the day.
GOD,
I pray hard to be survived and have the chance to witness everything.
Don't bring anyone away from me,
especially my FAMILY MEMBERS.
and all my friends.
please,
without them,
I couldn't live my life.
especially my family..
If you have to,
bring me along too.
I dowan to live alone,
I wanna be with my family members forever if can :(
hope so that we wouldn't suffer from any pain,
or anything that is terrifying.
God,
PLEASE,
save us :(
be our savior.
AMEN.

cherish everything and everyone beside you now.
as you've seen natural disasters everywhere.
flooding, earthquake and eruption of volcano.
many people lost their lives..
and now,
even road accidents :(
i'm seriously sad when I read newspaper.
how good if no one will leave?
life is unpredictable.
SO UNPREDICTABLE.
appreciate it,
and.
DO NOT TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE.
appreciate ur life.
some of them don even have a chance to survive,
and they do wish that they could have it :(
problems will be solved one day.
but as you commit suicide,
the problems are still there.
YES,
u'll be free from suffering.
but the people around you is suffering.
DON'T BE SELFISH.
don't give up easily too.
Remember,
never say die :)

Nyway,
after the final exam is over,
I will be ready to become a form 5 SENIOR.
and the seniors are leaving :'(
well,
I dowan to.
mummy said,
previously u're still in kinder-garden,
ur hand is still smaller den mine.
still shorter den me.
and everything changed in a blink of eye.
sigh.
i wish i will be a teenager forever. :(
am enjoying my school life now.

a passage that i saw in fb.
it's meaningful.
read it..

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

get the meaning of it?
The eraser represents the parents.
whereas the pencil represents their children, which is US.
They're always there for their children,
cleaning up their mistakes.
Sometimes along the way...
they get hurt,
and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on).
Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse),
but parents are still happy with what they do for their children,

and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying,
or sad.


"All my life, I've been the pencil..
And it pains me to see the eraser,
that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day.
For I know that one day,
all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings
and memories of what I used to have..."
just for the parents by the writer :)

I pray hard,
telling myself.
I must treat both of my parents well,
if I have the chance.
and also,
My dad will change his attitude,
become a Christian.
and will not always with the straight look.
I admit,
I dislike my dad.
even think of only take care of my mom well and just let him alone.
the feeling is just sucks to say this.
I say it out but I seriously don't mean this.
they're both important for me.
without them,
I won't be existed.
and I won't be learning piano, attending tuition.
and even have a good result in my exam
or success in my life.
To put it laconically,
my family members have to be with me.
they're important for me.
I need them.
SO SO SERIOUSLY.
:)

i dowan to be independent,
i wish to be loved, be appreciated.
childishness make me look naive perhaps.
with my family members,
i wont be alone.
Daddy, mummy, bro, sis.
u all are important to me :)

overly relaxed!

Just got back from CF :)
not CHUN FAI,
but christian fellowship =P

It's almost the last day for us,
next week is having jamuan together,
and for next year's cf,
will be hold in the school :)
It's much more convenient..
Guess what,
En. Wong is responsible for this.
happy * :D
Will be missing miss wong and some preachers at the church,
and also the grand piano :P

just that few months,
got a lot of insight from it :)
thanks Meng Khang too,
for bringing me there :P
=]

Nyway,
exam is SUPER around the corner,
which is 3 days more from now.
Praise me please,
I didn't read much or even feel panic on this.
Feel guilty,
But I dono why,
I seriously dislike stressing myself.
And I'm still feeling relax..
Cute of me =.=
Lye lye,
u make me change so a lot XD

Used to be very very anxious for my result,
Stressing myself,
Even worry people will score better den me sometimes.
But now?
Everything changed.
Feel the previous me is just super pathetic..
Is like no life =.=
Worry this worry that.
Compete with this and that.
Now?
I know,
I read for myself.
Everything is for myself.
And looking further do makes me feel better..
Thanks ah Lye for advising me last time :)
With you,
I super relax.
and SUPER LAZY xD
Once we did homework,
it seems to be a miracles for us XD

But still,
feeling guilty.
I'm just overly relaxed =.=
How arh?
Average still got 65 above?
maintain the A?
Lah,
Worry but don feel like putting any effort on it..
Tuition fees so much,
But didn't do any changes for my studies...
How arh =(
aiyooo
One thing tat make things even worst,
Mom just say '' I can't help you lor, now study lar ''
SHE DON EVEN BLAME ME :(
Make me lagi guilty.. :(
3 days more to my exam.
Tak de masa dah =.=
Regret and guiltiness,
this TWO WORDS.
Super scary for me =.=

Will still try my best,
Not to get a SUPER SUCKS result,
No matter how,
Still will study.
But still hope result will not tat bad lar =(
miracles,
happen please.
those things will not be happened for next year.
I confirmed ><
( seems not tat trust-able =.= )

anyway,
Thank God for changing me :)
Feel that I've changed quite a lot..
Looking further is the best changes for me =)
No wonder,
will relax until OVERLY RELAXED =.=
Sorry,
Love those carefree life :X

now the only thing I should change is just.
DON BE OVERLY RELAXED =.=
trust me,
I will do it @@
trust me =.=
LOL! XD

Since when,
I don't mind so much ?
since when,
will start to think at one's side?
May be no one realizes this.
But,
I did realize this.

scary.

may i know something?
being in a higher place in your job,
really will make you so seriously happy?
and worthy for you to fight for it,
until u'll get stressed and even worry about it everyday.?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

OMG.
tat's just scary.
one who desperate for something,
will be seriously different with the previous one tat I knew..
Girl,
is that worthy? :(

A leader,
is to be responsible and also to BE FAIR to ur juniors.
A leader,
will discuss everything with the assistants..
BUT NOT only doing everything and decide everything urself.

I know I'm not suppose to talk so alot,
since I already give up this job.
But I seriously feeling unfair.
No one stands up to talk about it.
But just will comment a lot behind..
even IM THE ONE.
anyway,
Who dare?
and also will there be any difference?
i hate it.

I'm seriously satisfied.
Voted by my fellow friends,
Supported by my best friends,
and also knowing that I got the ability for it. o.0
But,
I just don wanna fight for it.
I'm glad to see that I'm not like a burger between those who're fighting..
I feel more free for it.
Yea,
There might be people saying that I fail to be,
or though I wanna be but I failed...
Well,
I wont give any damn for it..
Friends know who am I,
And also I understand myself.
IT'S SERIOUSLY ENOUGH. :)

every chosen one have the ability for it..
Gambateh,
Our future leader.. :)
And also my dear,
U're my number one to be chosen for it =)

And also to you,
Look further please.
The more you hope for,
The more disappointment you'll get when u fail.

if something is belongs to you,
it will belongs to.
Look further,
girl.

:)

BINGO!
I tried to study.
But I failed half way.
How to say?
It's all procrastination who guides me.
BOOH BOOH,
still,
my fault. :P

Did study,
But not that much.
Lucky tuition teachers did revise some chapters.
Otherwise,
Shit kao kao :P
Heeheeee.

Well,
Do miss me?
My blog is dead recently.
I everyday facing a book.
Called facebook.
LIKE-ing people's link.
Comment-ing people's status.
And this makes my day.
LMAO!

Relaxxxxxxxxx.
Is good,
But currently I am overly relaxing :)
HOw?
For final exam,
2 weeks and abit more to go.
Gahhh,
Miracles happen on a lazy pig?
So hard rite? :(

Getting weaker.
Tried to sleep late.
But yawning before 12.
Getting older?
NO please :(

Study smart but not study hard.
Gee :)
Hopefully my final result will not be that sucks :(
One subject that I'm confirmly dieing,
SEJARAH.
Tuition teacher is just too slow. =.=
:(

Okayy,
Saw something in fb.
Which makes me cry,
and even feeling sad. :(
People,
appreciate ur life.
Some people,
They hope to survive longer,
But they did not have the chance.
PLEASE,
Don't ever try to give up ur life.
:)

People,
Do think about WHY.
But not always HOW..
Try it,
it's much better.
:)

Dont ask how.
But why.
:)

believe? while the ''lie'' is on it?

LOVE
can last?

GUYS,
tolong.
Don fool girls please.
You should know what to do,
once she sacrifice herself too overly.
You love her?
you won't let her did so much of things..
Don't ever try to chase people back,
When ur heart has got another girl.
PLEASE,
Even though the girl don't mind at all.
That's just what she said.
But not from her heart :(

if you're a guy.
if you're a man.
Please be a true guy and a real man.

Anyway,
Lost my confidence to the non-christians' guys.
I'm sorry.
Not being racist,
But I'm just very seriously afraid of you all.
I had met one,
That make me afraid of guys.
Nothing to do with me,
But as a friend,
I'm afraid of him.
I dowan to meet another one anymore,
PLEASE :(
He is the first one and the last one for me!!

I try to think at ur side,
But seriously,
I really cant think anything positively.
I try to think at her side,
I got it.
LOVE IS BLIND.
and,
Falling too deeply into love.

but, why? :(

afraid of everything spoken by guys.
Especially non-Christians .
I learned through others' lesson.
Even though they don't get it.
But I got it,
very surely.
Being tall isn't a bad thing for me now.
yea,
Kinda hard to find a bf.
But I got to learn lots of lessons from others.
And even avoid myself from coupling too early.
The most important which is,
I know to beware of guys.
and find a better one.
:)
Suddenly love my specialty which is,
OVER-HEIGHT.
:D

non of my business I know.
Yet,
I wonder why.
This case really got nothing to do with me.
But I'm being hurted indirectly,
as a girl :(
Even cried out :'(.
Buddy,
I will pray for you.
Once you tasted the pain,
You'll give up.
No matter what things happen,
We'll stand by ur side.
Don let us worry you so much,
Love urself please.

Happiness is anyone or anything,
that loved by you.♥

Rainbow :)

I love this.

:)

=)

Double Rainbow ;)

Happiness.

Free to know,

What it actually is.

• Finding your musical soul mates.
• spinning around in the rain.
• unexpected textsssS.
• finding something you thought u've lost.
• Feeling pretty in front of da mirror.
• Winning an argument.
• Noticing something u never had.
• Cheering someone up.
• Knowing everything will be okay.
• Looking at the new things that you've bought.
• when he smiles and take picture with you.
• when his name appears on ur fb's notifications.
• My smile make you smile.
• Having a HE to loves me.

:)

Chill,
and just.
Simply have a smile with ur sexy lips.

SMILE,
it solves everything.

Enduring?
It avoid everything.


:)

=/

I can only say.
Sometimes,
Enduring is the best way to solve every single problem.
Believe me,
It never goes wrong.

And now,
Teacher knew about it.
It makes them lagi hate about me.
Want blame also blame me,
I didnt find teacher earlier,
To stop her from punishing them.
Want blame also blame me,
Allow someone to tell it.
Some of you feel,
Teacher should know about it.
But,
Now getting so serious.
Which I dowan it to be..

My very very first time.
Been insulted until cried non-stop for an hour.
My very very first time,
Making ppl kena punished until so cham.
:(
Last time the way she insulted me,
I still can forgive and forget.
But this time,
seriously hurted.
I can only say,
I'm seriously unlucky.
Cleaning my skirt when they're were taking pic.
And ppl misunderstand,
SHARE SHARE and SHARE!
what a perfect coincidence rite?
:)

First time,
Done nth wrong but feeling guilty.
The one who did wrong are them.
But I'm feeling sad here.
Funny rite?
Im the one who make them to get punished..
May be kena gantung,
May be have to meet parents..
And now even pengetua knew about it.
I'm very bad..
Very very bad :'(

Put every problems into my prayer..
What I hope is just,
Things settled peacefully..
If I choose to forgive and let go,
What I seriously hope is,
Teacher will just warn them or gv them some simple punishment.
And tat's ady enough..
I dowan them to feel like,
Those who's in good class,
Is the one who teacher believes more.
After holidays,
I'll try my best to let teacher reduced the punishment..
I wish that,
I wish things can be settled
VERY VERY PEACEFULLY. :'(

Sad case.
I found out,
My problem..
Sometimes is really hard to talk with,
MY VERY VERY TRUE FRIEND.

May be,
For her.
I'm not the first time being hated like this.
May be,
A lot of people hate me.

Thanks gurl,
I got it =)

:)

1 of September.

The most lowly day for me :)
Lost my dignity.
Pretend that I'm strong..
Still crying while commenting..
But still,
I'm really okay :)

Thanks my senior,
MY LOVELY SENIOR..
wong meng khang =D
thanks a lot :)
I choose to apologize,
not because tat's my fault.
But,
Tat's another way for me to forgive them.
:)
God say so,
LOVE YOUR ENEMY =D

you know what's happening,
I know what's happening.
Sista know what's happening,
BUDDIES know what's happening..
I feel enough :)
PARTICULARLY,
GOD know what's happening :)
HE's the one who wanna me to face it.
Thanks,
Already become tougher :)

Thanks a lot my friends,
I feel very very warm having you all as my friends.
I'm glad to have u all :)
But still,
Just let them.
I already choose to apologize,
Means you all have to support me too.
Please :)
Just dowan the things become bigger :)

God,
stay with me.
And let me feel peace :)
I need you,
To brace myself up.
:)

don ask whether i'm a christian anot.
Tat's a long story.
But if you ask do I willing to be?
My answer will be,
YES, I DO :)

=D

Cried non-stop for an hour,
Heart seriously breaking.
And I suddenly felt,
I'm really lousy.

AGAIN,
the bitches hurt me.
I believed many of you know about this..
I said before,
I understand myself well,
tats all.
If you all gotta believe what the bitches say,
Carry on. :)
I know,
My image had been seriously broken.
But I also believe that,
They'll accept something bad soon..
I noe,
God is fair to everyone :)

That's a test from God.
After watching the video about God sacrificed for us,
I learned many things.
LOVE OUR ENEMIES :)
Because God love them too :)
God sacrifice for them,
And us..
He love us very much.
And now,
He wants me to use the lesson that he gave me..
LOVE MY ENEMIES.
FORGIVE THEM AND LOVE THEM.

I admit,
I blame God for hurting me like this.
But when I suddenly think of the Video about how HE sacrificed for us,
I got it.
He gave me a chance to use the lesson :)
I used it,
I'm still angry,
But will try to forgive..
I will TRY.

He gave me the test,
And gave me a bunch of FRIENDS.
who support me.
Thanks my lady, Chyi..
VERY MUCH,
Finding people to comment and scold back although I stop her.
I just dowan the case become bigger..
And crying non-stop..
But now,
I saw the comments..
Many ppl find me and support me..
I know,
That's still people support me.
I understand :)

4 Anggerik buddies,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
ZY,
thanks too :)
Comforting me yet I'm still crying XD
and those who comments and fight back for me,
I THANK YOU.
No matter who you are for me,
I appreciated ur kindness A LOT
:)
You guys make me chill back,
And stop my tear.
For those who dono this news yet,
It's okay.
I believe,
If u're my friends,
Sure you support me..

We've brain and mouth.
But they've only mouth :)
So,
Just forgive them.
After crying,
I'm really okay with it ady..
Am worrying for tmrw,
But still I will attend to school.
Buddies will group with me tomorrow,
People's eyes looking at me NVM.
talk about me NVM.
guys,
I'll be seriously okay with you all de support :)

So,
those brainless one.
Continue what u're doing,
To show how childish you are :)
Will still try my best to ignore,
and forgive you :)
SHARE until u song.
I'm not gotta gv any damn about it :)
Even if I do,
U all will be scolded too :)

all the bitchy girls,
all around the world!

there's always the SOMETIMES

Sumtime all u can give is love
Sumtime all u have is not enuf

Sumtime life is like a dream
Sumtime dreams aren’t like what they seem

Sumtime laughter can heal your heart
Sumtime it’s laughter that breaks it apart

Sumtime the world goes faster than u can go
Sumtime even fast but is still too slow

Sumtime loneliness is what u need
Sumtime there’s a harvest after a seed

Sumtime u tink u understand
Sumtime u knw u really can’t

Sometimes I tot I understand,
But actually I don't :'')

God, my savior :)

and NOW.
I joined cf. :)
Christian fellowship.
Love it,
Because I learn something there.
Moreover,
That's better den staying home,
Inducing my dad to get angry of me.

Kid-like bible.
Thanks andrew for borrowing it to me :)
Start to learn everything,
And,
Pray while I met troubles.
And,
God know me well.
Than how you all do...

I know,
I might not a true friend.
I accept it all the time.
And don even admit that I am before..
I learned,
When people being direct to me,
I cannot be direct too.
Mummy u're right,
It only show ur childishness.
Seldom being that direct,
And now I hate enduring,
So that's my turn to be direct.
Yet,
What I get,
Isn't like what I did to them previously.
Friend,
U're right.
Everyone is different.

If everyone can think before they speak,
If everyone can look at themselves before commenting on others,
If everyone can stand at one's side and consider,
If everyone can learn to let go and endure,
Well,
How peaceful is it?
Everyone is different.
Even though u did everything that I listed on top,
You will never get anything like how you treated them
Everytime when something happens.
Don't you realize?
Humans getting so selfish nowadays.
Even when you meet new friends,
Same things occur. :)
This is all,
HUMANITY.
like what I said on my previous post,
you did.
I did.
Everyone did.
Don't you know?
If you always stand at other's side and consider.
You will be described as,
FOOL :)
Because,
You will never ever get anything.
You will just rugi :)
A LOT
:)

Nyway,
Just be urself.
I dowan to become so pathetic.
I know myself well.
God knows me.
Mummy loves me..
I feel,
That's enough.
If there's someone there willing to know me well,
He will appears.
God,
I wish he appears NOW
:(.

They describe it as LIFE.
Perhaps?
LIFE without these COMPLICATED characteristics,
Seems so boring hor?
No such things that TIME may helps.
:)
It happens all the time.
Just,
CHILL :)

. . .

Rainbow

Hate the whether nowadays.
Super hate :(
Damn freaking HOT
Staying home like approaching the stove.
Recces time,
Jaga pelajar.
See their face and giving instructions
UNDER THE SUPER BIG SUN.
Why can't it rains everyday?
Opening air-con doesn't feel better.
It's just more comfortable,
Think think..
Some people.
Their house got more den 5 air cons..
Global warming getting so serious D:
Quite worry..
Air con oso don feel like opening..
FAN super important for me now. :(

Rain please,
At night too..
Or may be evening :)
Nak tengok RAINBOW.
Had been a long time didn't see :(
Have no idea,
On the reason why I'm so in love with it.
:)

COUPLES.
Don appear in front of me.
lol,
Ah Lye still sit beside me..
hate you >,<
3 years till now.
It's okayy,
I'm just too tall XD

Oh ya,
Went one place tat my dad oftenly bring us yesterday..
AIHS,
How to say I oso don know..
Go there for bai bai (praying),
And have a small jamuan..
Aihs,
Dislike the place. :(

Daddy's friends and my relatives..
First thing they told my mom was,
EH,
YOUR DAUGHTER SO TALL HUH!
I count,
The first one.
And then,
WAH,
YOUR DAUGHTER SO TALL ALREADY HUH.
ALL LOOK LIKE DADDY HOR.
The second one,
SIGH.
Third one,
She's dato's wife.
Same,
She said I'm tall =.=
But,
PRETTY xD
( For those who's drinking or eating, I apologize :P )
Too bad,
I'm not..
And I don wish to take part in any competition or modeling =.=
What I need is just,
My height drop to 170.
Super enough!
I told mom,
today 3 people talk about my height.
My mom laughed.
So,
can feel how I feel liao?
:(

I wana wear high heels!
So nice sia T.T
Shopped with meng chyi.
Only can recommend her those high heels,
That I hope to wear :/
She tried few high heels,
I'm still taller den her.. :(
But got one..
I think got 8cm like that..
And,
She's FINALLY
same height with me.
GAH,
What a bad feel :/

Anyway,
My results..
Aihs,
Papers all given back liao only announce.
Seriously bad this time.
Seriously.
:)
Normal,
I did not put any effort :)

Ohya,
I failed my piano.
SHAMED * :')
Thanks God,
I did not cry :)
But,
seriously feeling guilty.

BAH,
Sorry,
No mood liao. ><
Today until here ba.. :)
Sorry guys.
I will brace up.
Give me sometimes :)

BODOH,
It doesn't mean anything.

Learn,
To smile,
When facing someone that you dislike.
And,
Love your enemies like what God say. :)

Smile,
with the questions asked,
that you don feel like answering.
:)



Chill,
:)

bull shit.

SOMEONE.
Hahas,
Nyway,
Being straight seems so freaking FUN.

If that is the matter to argue about,
Seems,
Many others people are coming to blame me..
For not calling them bla bla..
Nyway,
Good reason from you.
I accept :)

Things to conclude about,
Ya,
We treat you badly.
And found a simple conclusion for myself.
Ya,
it's true..
Memang true :)

Just,
Look at yourself..
Before you comment on others.
Blame and stop people from doing smth,
Yet,
you're doing it behind.

You did,
I did,
Everyone did.
That's humanity.

new song :D

Visit my blog oftenly
:)

There's lot of suprising nice songs..
Which I'm so in love with..
They're all my favourites :D

Now,
Another new song..
'' My secret Rainbow ''
From the movie '' Echoes of the rainbow''
A very meaningful movie,
Which I've recommended you all to watch it..

I love this song,
So nice :)
Share with you all :D

no more :(

Men are right.
People will only appreciate when they lost something.
People,
It's proven..

Am going to lost something,
Now only start to appreciate it..
I'm feeling repent and guilty..
Mummy,
Again I have to say sorry...

It might be the suffering days without my piano lesson..
I'm going to stop..
Few months after.
Reason,
NOT THAT AFFORDABLE..
I don feel like forcing my mom,
I don feel like wasting mom's money again..
I have spent her money,
Learning lesser things compare to others..
I didnt realize,
I should have change a better new teachers earlier..
Now my piano teacher is way better den previous one.
Teach me more den previous one..
And she guarantee that she will makes my skill become better
But,
Already late.
I am going to stop..

That's the cruelest thing for a piano player..
I can't improve my skill during the days I stop learning.
I dono what's the feel..
When people finish their lesson..
But I'm still a baru fail grade 8 exam de PIANO PLAYER..
That's a sarcasm..
Which hurt me for so long..

Daydreaming.
If I could sell my height.
Those operation fees is paid by someone who buy my height.
And,
The operation goes smoothly..
I'm still normal but just shorter abit..
I can get money and also become shorter..
How good isit?
HAHA,
Sorry for my childish thinking.
I noe that's impossible :/

I need someone to sponsor me..
RM300 per month.
Aihs,
Who willing to teach me with a cheaper price?
That's too hard to find a generous one.. =.=
If it's exist and someone really willing to sponsor me,
I reject too :)
Just don wanna spend mom's money too much liao..
Spending too much,
I feel more guilty.
Mummy,
Really sorry :(

Piano,
You make me enjoy.
And now,
You make me down..

But.
Why am I still so in love with you?
:(
I don understand. :(

:)

Calon.
Not gonna fight for this place..
Even though I've got chance for it..
Everything,
Just hand it to God.
God will arrange :)

Just,
I hope no quarrel begins between us..
I dowan to see people being that scary anymore..
And,
The job that teacher gave us..
PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR PARTNER!
That's teacher's order to us..
If you do everything alone,
Will just suffer your ownself..
Don forget,
We're in one team,
But not the one who fight for the place..

It might be sad,
For getting nothing being prefect for so many years..
Friend,
Stay happy..
We still need you all..
To help us..
And you all are still,
my friends.
:)

If that's yours,
It will be yours...
Not need to fight for it..
And causes misunderstanding happens..
12+ selected prefects..
I hope we're still friend like last time,
And our friendship will not be affected..
Remember,
Prefects always work in a team!

:)

Just finish watching 岁月神偷 this movie..
I'm here to recommend you all to watch it..
A very meaningful movie..
And the director get the prize too..
Super touching,
Non-stop crying on the climax of this movie
That's sad.. :(

Feeling so guilty,
AGAIN.
When the dad in the movie scolded his son,
I was crying :'(
Because he's like scolding me too..
Parents are being frugality in order to foster me and my siblings..
Work very hard to bring us up..
And,
I'm also the most immature one..
Do not appreciate everything that I have now..
:'(
What my friends had,
I feel like having too.
It makes me demand for more..
MORE AND MORE..!
Making myself more unhappy,
And also to my mom who can't fulfill everything I want..
Mummy,
Sorry..

I used much of your money them others..
Really very very guilty.
Sigh,
Those expanses do not make me to work harder..
And also,
My results can be worst den others too..
:(
The best EXAMPLE!
My piano..
:'(
Seriously,
I wonder how to face my parents now..
:'(

What I aim for SPM,
is only few As enough.
I saw my fren,
Aiming for straight As bla bla~
I asked for the reason,
They told me,
Their parents work very hard to bring them up..
They can't make them dissapointed..
I look at them,
Was thinking..
What about me?
I used their money more than my friends'..
But I aim for that few,
And just relaxing all the days?
People,
I'm abashed of myself!
Extremely..!

The coming monthly exam,
It's okay..
I already expect my results will be very,
You know,
SCARY!
Compare to my mid-term test..
The worst excuse for myself,
Piano affects my mood..
May be last time,
It's my best excuse ever..

BUT NOW,
I have waken up..
No more this excuse
I can't make my parents dissapointed again..
I have to CHANGE!
:')
Last time,
That's my fault,
And I forget it..
Promised myself,
My nx time will be better :)
Thanks for machiiiies who support me,
Borrowing their ears to listen to my feelings this few days..

This time I forgive myself for not studying hard.
But I wont forget :)
That's a best lesson for me,
TAN XIAO JUN,
JUN XIAO TAN.
Stop being emo,
And change urself,
TO A BETTER YOU!

Smile for this post..
I know you guys have been a long time viewing my sad blog.
:)
Frankly,
I'm now okay..
Very fine,
Don worry about me..
:)

After this exam,
You may discriminate on my result..
But I will just ignore.
I will try my best,
To do well on my final exam..

God,
Guide me!
I need the feeling back,
Like last time having my mid-term exam.
Guys,
Pray for me !
The previous Ah Jun who loves Rainbow :D
Had returned back x)..
Change for a better ME !

Something for CQT,

As what I always say,
Time is the best medicine for everyone.
Chiok zai,
When comforting you,
I mean SCOLD :D
You make me brace up from being emo all the time.
I realize,
I'm so stupid for repenting for something passed
Now,
It's different.
:)
Believe on yourself..
We can do it :D

I've said,
As time flows,
The feeling faded away..
I did not go away,
But you the one who let me go..
:)

:)

Truth :)
I laugh,
Another different things that I heard last night.
And today,
Another.. ==
Yea, truth..
Which drive everyone crazy. :)
I really lazy care..
Truth den truth..
Whatever was happening,
I learned..
Just kinda non of my business..
I done my own thing,
That's only the main thing :)

Humanity which is hard to be seen through.
Stand at my side,
You'll be struggling..
Stand at your side,
I will angry too..

So,
My fault.
Sorry ..

The so call TRUTH.
Which guide me to think another way.
Ignore :)
And,
I will be fine..
Thanks for your advice :]

To a BITCH,
Look at your size only critic on me please..
You're now 17 years old,
Your behavior is more childish than me..
And also I can see through,
Whether you're well-educated or low-educated through this case.

Look at yourself before you blame on others!
Scold people with your own fault?
You don know how hilarious it is..
Look at the mirror yourself,
Thanks :)

:'(

enough.
tats too much things happen on me recently.
enduring and enduring.
im really tired.
and i thought the unlucky things ady stopped,
but today.
another one :'(

my piano,
expected to fail.
my studies,
expected to be very bad.
my life,
getting boring and boring.
my love,
hahahahahaha.
my friendship?
ya, tats funny.

Get to know,
How a ppl will be like in order to accomplish their wishes,
in order to get the power.
and oso in order to get a higher place in certain job.
Extremely sad,
When I got the news.
And,
This is quite scary for me.
:/

and today.
Something happens again.
And,
Had be blamed for being too responsible.
Even being insulted.
My heart is seriously breaking.
I don even think to fight for any higher place for the job I am now.
I did my job.
Tats the only to be concluded.
God,
I did something wrong..?

I'm not the only one who say her.
I'm not the only one who catch her.
And Im not THE ONE who call teacher come.
Why you wanna blame me?
Catching students so rarely.
And this is what I get.
Why?
Why I have to be insulted like this..?

Mummy,
Feel like telling you my feeling now.
This is the first time I dono how to express it out :'(
You will just blame me for taking care too much of unnecessary things.
Blame me that I've been too responsible..
Blame me that being to 8 poh..
Hhahaha,
But I really rarely do that..
I have been insulted like that..
Mummy,
I very very sad :'(
I dono what to do T.T
Really too much of things happen recently.

And,
Next month I will force myself to accept the cruel news..
Which is I failed my piano exam..
And I gotta cry that time again..
This is the saddest moment that I ever had before..
Seriously,
Everything happened in a sudden.
My dear God,
I already dono how to be tough anymore.

Just wonder,
Will my name appears in the toilet?
I noe,
My name will be broken again..
Last year broke once,
I gone through it,
And finally it faded and no one talk about that anymore.
I thank for those who trusts me that time.
But now,
AGAIN.
To you,
Isit feeling good to insult me like this in such a public place?
Yea,
You have the perfect body figure.
Ya,
Im the ugliest one.
No need you to mention about that.
I know myself okay.
And you achieved what you want.
Is to break my name.
And released your anger by hurting me..
Girl,
Congratz..
Im not longer tough now.
:'))

People,
Being a prefect is ain't easy as what you thought.
For you,
We're teachers' dog.
But can't you all stand at our side and think about it?
We endure you,
And even the teachers.
Get scolded by the leaders when we did smth wrong.
If you think at our side.
And we think at our leaders' side.
Isn't it balanced?
Being not responsible,
Being blamed by the teachers..
And make our leaders dissapointed.
Yet,
Being responsible,
This is what I get now.

Students,
People.
Stop blaming the prefects.
If you've done nth wrong,
That's no such things that we're aiming you.
NO SUCH THING AT ALL..
We only catch you,
When you've break the school's rules.
Don tell me,
This is something wrong that we've done.
:/

Exhausted.
Really exhausted.
I can sleep when my body feel tired.
If my spirit feeling tired.
What can I do?
My dear God,
Live again in my heart.
Tell me what should I do.
To overcome every single problems.
Let me be tough.
Like before.
Help me to settle those problems..

Seriously,
Need you now :'(