future.

I thought of this.

after SPM,
apa mau buat?

used to have a lot of ambition when I was young.
now?
seems NONE.

people says,
one who don hv any aim will not ever success.

sigh sigh sigh,
was not worrying in past few years,
but now I am facing SPM,
and after SPM.
everything seems blank for me.
don't you feel that?
if you do feel so,
meaning u're in the same situation as me :/

if can,
I rather forever sit for SPM.
but, everyone's life is to move forward but not staying there.
so what to do?
I'm blank,
seriously.

have a nice result in SPM,
so what?
one who get no A,
one who get straight As.
both of them went to the same college/ uni.
what's the point actually?
to get scholarship,
for one year.
after that?

How I will be like 10 years after?
Watching friends getting richer?
watching friends on their way to success?
and I'm envying?
I down to. :(


God,
lend me a hand.
tell me what I should do :(

studying like hell now,
not knowing ur aim, ur ambition.
what for?
everyone tend to fight for the EXAM.
but not their dream,
am I correct?
so after the EXAM,
you get straight As,
more As then others.
den?
yea, can tell people ur result proudly,
after one month?
or few weeks after?
everything back to normal.
and you find urself lost again...

17 years old,
not even SPM to think of,
but also ur future to think of.
people,
17 years old isn't that young d.
even it's still considered as teens,
but it will be different as the one who can still go to school nx year.

again,
I wanna say.
appreciate ur schooling day.
be thankful that,
u still can wake up early for school,
wearing uniform to school,
chat with buddies in school.
after this,
u'll miss it so much.
even school give you so much of sucks memories,
you still have to appreciate.


yea,
I will still strike hard for SPM,
even it seems quite pointless :/
and also trying my best to find the aim, the goal.
I pray I pray and I pray.

God, do lend me a hand.
you know me more den myself.
when there's a will, there's a way.
problem is no will,
how to get the way?

lead me along my way,
I dowan to rely to anyone.
I just want to work for myself.
am able to take care of my parent,
give them the best that I can,
I pray I pray and I still pray.

stay tough stay strong.
there's still plenty of things waiting for me to confuse about.
it's impossible to have NONE obstacles in your life.
I might collapse one day,
but still,
after collapsing, I have to brace up.
this is life.
everyone's life.
just see how colourful will it be,
and it's painted by urself.

not miracles don't happen,
is you do not want to create it.


just,
take a deep breath,
get prepared for the journey of the life.
:)

:)

stay there.
don move to anywhere :)
there's people for you.
believe me :)


i'm thinking this for 2 days.
I swear I did.
anyway,
I apologize if I did something like dis.
I dono what I've done.
if u're that sure that I'm the one and it's not a misunderstanding,
okay, I'm very sorry for that to happen.


u've done ur best.
but the people around u aren't the best. :)
agree?


or may be I didnt care about ur feeling.
I'm sorry.
that's my mistake.


but I swear,
I'm feeling sad and dono what to do when the result revealed.
and it's kinda unfair too.


if it's my fault,
and I did something so so SO SERIOUS.
den I do really feel sorry about it.


u're tired, I'm too :)

that's the life-less things who ends it.
so let it be, let it go :)
take care ;)

let it be, let it go.

God who knows how's it.
I'm the one who knows how it feels.
yea,
in this week.
finally know that,
I'm always the transparent one.


somehow,
I seriously hope that,
someone can know my feeling.
even I did not tell anyone,
like sometimes I know others too..
not you, but others.
sigh.


if our hearts are attaching,
u'll know how I feel and I will know yours.
too bad,
I haven't find any.


friend says,
is time for me to live for myself.
is time for me to put myself more important than others.
mommy says,
sometimes have to think about urself too.
again,
saying is easy.
I've the feeling to do what I feel like doing,
so I have to stop myself?
idk :(


I'm out.
totally out from every places that I wish to be in.
I've been sacked out.
and it's seriously tired for me return back again,
I have no right to stop others..
or I should say,
No one is perfect,
it's time for me to look further,
to look for the different result.


I'm the one who fail myself :)
I wouldn't blame anyone.
it's actually my fault.
don't ask for others to take care of me and understand me more.
don't hope too much that I'm oways the most important one for them.
I'm not qualified :)
let the one who enjoy to be with me,
continue with me.
and let the one who wanna leave,
let them leave,
even it's with my super bad feeling for tat things to be happened.


make sure,
it's not a misunderstanding.
and that's fine for me.
take care :')


true.
I just look pathetic if keep on demanding for others to understand me.
thanks God, thanks mommy.
the closest one with me,
and lead me in my way :')

don't simply guess what this post is about.
u might misunderstand about me.
thank you.

:'(

why can't girls live for themselves.
girls were born to satisfy every guy?

why?



why is everyone making us so freaking hard to be confident?



we're just living for ourselves.
appreciating whateva god had given to us.
do not complain and trying not to have the inferiority feeling again n again.
why u all force us to have it again.
it does make u feel better?
it's so important for u eventhough u don even know me?


no one will ever think of other's feeling before they spoke.







or may be.
that's the fact,
which we should have accepted it.

I wish,
that will be a day which every girl can raise their head up.
but when was it? :'(

the end of the holidays D:

hey!
am back to have my last post by the end of the holiday.
aww,
sadnya.
tomorrow school reopening D:
and homework, stresses, school activities and tuition.
hectic life begins again!!
and i'll be always prepared for the exams.
and at last SPM!
hohohoho den I'm graduated..
so fast huh. :(
last time I was just form 1.
aw, better say I was a baby =3=

the last year in my secondary school.
I'll seriously appreciate it =)
I'm 17 years old this year!
FORM 5 :O
last time oways feel that Form 5 very big very old jor.
now, I'm Form 5 =.=
it's kinda incredible.. :(

the only thing who can flies without aerofoil or wings,
it's will be the TIME.
as they said,
Time and tide waits for no man. :/

I can only appreciate everything I have now.
as time passes by,
I'm sure I'll regret for not appreciating it.

forgotten to wish you all.
HAPPY NEW YEAR :D
and it's 2011.
one more year to the end of the year, 2012.
don care so much,
as long as it's now 2011.
2012 thingy shud be worried nx year :P
and I pray that it may not happen.
I wish. :(
even it really happens,
no matter how will it be,
I just wish my family will be with me. :)

Slept at 5am last night.
woke up at ten smth or nine something?
yea, I'm still sleepy.
but I just hope that tonite can sleep earlier and easier to fall asleep.
what am I doing till this late?
well, NOT FB.
am completing my sejarah note and question book D:
Choose to recopy everything,
for me to study easier this year.
and what I pay off is my time and energy AND ALSO pen ink.
lol.
I do hope that it seriously worth it :(

after today,
I will try my best.
to avoid fb and pc :O
well again,
saying is easier den doing =3=.
I hope it really successful.
actually fb tak de apa-apa nice =3=,
keep on refreshing the home page and wait for new update jek.
I wonder why am I so addicted to it sometimes D:

anyway,
all the best to me and to YOU.
have a nice year 2011.
may my wish come true,
may my plan for myself goes well.
especially in my piano exam and my studies.

gambateh! :D