so tired.

did you ever care of my feeling?
did you ever respect who am I.

this is jealousy?
isit? :'(


who understand?
who fights for me?
who understood every feeling of mine?



I think on ur side,
if I was you,
will have behave like you?
No, I don't :'(
I will respect...

but,
did you think on my side? :'(





i do hate,
caring others' feeling.
ended up I'm the one who injured.


I do these,
also because u're my fren.
who I don't really want to hurt to.


do you know?
NO, u're still laughing. :'(

thank you so much :')

tears,
doest it solve everything?
I've forgotten,
it doesn't.

Or may be I should be more and more tough,
There's still many many people who will humiliate me.
you should know,
That's still many people who will.
yes, they will.

I tot I can forget,
I tot I will be okay,
yet,
even the fb page was down,
even everyone had forgotten it,
when someone mention it again,
the hurt that you get is double.
you know, double.
yes, double.

you wouldn't know how tiring is it,
to endure everything,
and even care about others while others don't.
you wouldn't know how hurtful is it,
until you get what you should get nx time.
what goes around comes around.
yes I know,
but do you sure, it will happen??
yes, I do hope. :'/

people laughed,
people teased.
for you,
you won to fight with me.
for you,
you proud that I've got nothing to say anymore.
for you,
you happy that people agree and laughed with you.
so, I should've said congratz. :')

thanks that you allude to the wound inside my heart.
thanks that you make it even serious.
thanks that you can make me thought of what you said for the whole day.
thanks that you make me have no idea who to express my feeling with.

thanks for everything.
may god bless you,
and may I forgive you.

I called them as bitch.
I named them as non-educated one.
I felt sorry for their parents.
and you, a guy.
Who acted like them in front of me.

think of urself before you hurt one deeply.
yes, very very very deeply.
don't worry,
I've nothing to do with you in the future.
and I dowan you to be part of my life.
Wish that you can find ur so called '' nice girl '' next time.
yes, u're oways the one who judge a book by its cover.
and please,
just mind your own business.
look at urself,
before you humiliate someone.

even you get straight As in ur examination,
even you get a super nice job in ur future.
even you are so much much richer den me next time.
for me,
you're just as poor as others.
the basic knowledge, the basic moral values.
yes, you don't have much of them :)

Or may be it's my fault for you to humiliate me.
should I think like this?
I'm quite tired of finding my fault in everythings happened.
How I wish,
that isn't my fault.
How I wish,
I should be the one who is so super tough now.

and,
how I wish.
I wont feel that hard,
My heart will not pain,
when I wanted to smile and to laugh.
Today,
it's so so so hard for me to laugh.
yes, I did.
but please know that,
it's just to cover my tears.
it's just to prevent my sadness to be expressed out.

I hope that case can completely deleted from my brain.
till now,
the hurt is still there.
do you know,
NO, you'll never know.
NEVER. :'(

or should I say,
please humiliate me but not others.
because they haven't get used to it.
but I do.
:')

what would you think of ?
oh, I'm one who couldn't be made fun of.
I'm one who cannot take jokes.
it's just a small case,
I'm the one who think it's big.
isn't it?
hahaha,
yea, I'm like this. :'')

I prayed,
prayed that I'll be okay.
as long as I'm pure,
as long as mummy will know I'm hurted.

as long as,
I will still be fine,
and laughed like a sakai tomorrow.
:')