22 of August Freaking dissapointed's day

What I write in blog doesnt mean tat Im jz showing to you..
Im showing to everyone..
You never feel it b4..
So you dont noe..

You say u will lonely when hes absent or wateva..
Its same to me..
I will say Im lonely..
Not bcuz I hv no one to company with..
Bt I hv no one who can really talk with..
When I on9..
I cant even find 1 to talk with..
Frens I hv lots..
Bt really can talk with de..
Jz few...

I absent without telling u..
Is bcuz I hope to gv u some surprise..
Without me..
You will not jealous when he talk to me..
Without me..
You no need think too much abt me n him...
U scolded him when he talked to me..
I was thinking..
Izit when Im alone..
Then only u happy..?
Izit when I hv a nickname call third-person..
Only u satisfy...?
In ur mind..
Hes the utmost important..
When chyi absent..
I d realize...
You go with him but not me..
I dono how to b with u both..
I only dare to find him once I hv troubles..
Bcuz I really think him as my brother..

Remember last time we quarrel?
Wat BC told u..?
And wat u told Thiam Leong them..?
U said..
I wana walk with him..
I nvr said b4..
I definitely wont walk with him..
You give up..
But Im the one who will b considered as the third person..
Or the one who break you both...
Wat BC told u..
Was definitely tat Im the one who interrupted u both..
I avoid him obviously..
I dono how to avoid him actually..
I dono how to make u wont jealous anymore..
I dono how to make u feel tat we're jz brother sister...

Chyi tat case..
Not I leave u alone..
We jz hope u to think urself..
U rather b alone or b with Sara them but did not wanted to think abt urself..
Only when Qi Hao advise u..
You realize..
You hope to change..
And I hope our friendship will bcum better too..
I dono how to make it like last year..
I noe u're changing..
But I cant swept the deep shadow in my heart away..

Sometimes..
Wat you say is really giving stress to others..
Chyi felt it b4 and same to me..
When I hve troubles..
I dono how to find u..
Bcuz my troubles is you..
And oso my stresses..
You noe wat Im thinking..
You scolded me for no telling you..
But u nvr even asked me wats going on to me..
They asked me wats going on to me when they saw my blog..
Im jz waiting for those who I think is best frens to come n comfort me..
Bt seem like no ones..

I wrote it down all my feeling..
Doesnt mean tat Im writing you..
I jz hope to get some protection or one shoulder to lean on..
You not same..
You d get it..
Im not lonely..
But when I really get troubles I will lonely..
You dono whether my smiling is fake or not..
Bt some of them noes..
I nvr tell them..
Bt they noe themselves...

Your blog..
I view everyday..
Bt Im dissapointed..
The last post oways abt him..
I was thinking..
Where was us...?
Last time we quarrel..
You say u gt him enuf..
And..
Where was us...?
I cry n beg u everything..
Bt seem like useless..
I hope our friendship will not ended foreva..
But I dono how to repair it..

Last year..
You live ur life freely..
But this year..
You doesnt...
You thought I nvr hope b4 our friendship will b like last year..?
I hope it everyday..
Since Hari Guru tat day..
I d realize..
S.H.E are fake..

Today was the day I hope to settle down wat I think..
And welcome my new life..
And oso the newest you..
Bt the God fools me..
I really dono how to save back..
You feel sad doesnt mean tat Im happy too...
You call us to follow on our way..
Its oso same tat u're calling urself...
If I say I dowan to end it..
Will u accept...

"before this i and jun very good wan e......T.T"
--Thank you tat you really appreciate it..
To start the new lifez..
Jz depends on you..
You apologize n we forgive..
Now I apologize will u...?