9 of Jan Depressed =(

Aihs,
Sorry to my parents indeed T.T
I cant even do the best for them..
Even though spending their money everyday..
Who m I..
Kinda depress now..

Im such a nuisance for my parents..
Who use up almost RM600 per month...
Piano n tuition fees..
I can do nothing..
Instead of spending their money D:
I went tuition..
But no straight As back..
Ppl who nvr go for tuition..
Who get straight As...
Im rubbish indeed?
Idk T.T

Until now,
I still feel so confuse abt tuition..
Added up I think is about RM300..
Or may b RM 280 something..
May b going 4 places..
Which I noe its sure expansive for single sub..
But I hv too..
Bcuz its gud...
Hw abt money?
Mom oways say..
''You arrange n I just paid''

I really hope..
I can reduce some..
But I dowan take full course..
Full course with sucks teachers..
For me its kinda same..
I jz keep depends on the tuition..
I really hope to try without tuition..
But I really scare I will regret after it..
Dad mom,
Im very very sorry abt it...

Mind abused..
Tuition love friendship..
And now even money D:
If Im not alive in this world..
If I was not born in this world..
May b my parents can b relax now..
May b bro will hv more pocket money now..
May b mom can even buy something for herself now..
Just because of me,
They cant even relax..
Is bcuz Im still young for them..
They hv to worry abt me..

When I sigh,
My mom will sigh too..
I sigh bcuz my tuition stuff cant b settled..
She sigh bcuz I sigh..
I stress mean she stress..
Isit so hard to bcum one's mother?
Sorry mom T.T
I wish you can b relax..
But I feel tat its might b impossible..
Because Im exist in this world?

They said,
Dont regret bcuz of my present in this world..
But appreciate with wad I have..
Yes I do,
But I hope I can really settle everything..
I really hope..
My decision is the perfect..
But it seems so difficult...

I dono wadelse to say..
I jz noe I oways get stuck..
I hope to reach the perfection..
But oways I cant..
Ya,
Nothing is perfect..
But why =(

Please..
I wana my tuitions stuff can b settled..
I wana pass my grade 8 practical exam..
I wana score better in SPM..
I wana parents to rejoice together with me..
I wana so many things..
Thats abit hard to b achieve..
Do my best..
And let the God arranges the rest?
Dear God,
Please takes action as soon as possible..
Let me relax and focus on my study..
I need your help..
Very very very need :(

I kinda nid someone to tell me,
My decisions are right..
I nid my family to support me,
Although Im not perfect like others..
I dono I gt the opportunity to serve my parents nx time..
But I wish..
I gt tat and I will...
Bucz without my parents..
Im not exist in this world..
And also losing myself on the way to reach my dream..
Its the growth of my life..
May b its abit different from others..
I wana my family to b with me last forever..
I nid them..
I pray I pray