the midnight again.

to the juniors.
appreciate ur days in school.
please, please please.
Save every single pics u've taken.
don delete it.
It's a precious memoriess.

one more year for my secondary school life.
i'm almost F5 now.
and the end of my secondary school life will soon reach in a blink of eye.
the days with school uniform gonna end,
and u'll be head-aching which course to choose,
which college, uni to go..
or continue and masuk F6?
talked with mommy about those things,
bro asked me before..
what to do after F5.
I say dono, very blur.
and he said he was once like me :)

I hate I could never stop the time.
I can only appreciate it :(
I really treasuring what I'm having now :(
Sometimes I did complain..
But still I appreciate.

I've been a long time,
Didn't feel that mom doesn't love me at all..
Last time,
I hurt her alot.
Mommy, sorry :(
and dad.
I need time to forgive, and love you more..
Cause u're not like mommy so nice to be with :(
Whenever u're saying ur body aching,
A lot works to do,
Teeth aching and can only eat those potatoes, taufu etc.
Heart feeling pain :(
and I couldn't do anything. :(
I'm not afraid that I will become older.
I do afraid that both my parents grow older.
Wrinkles everything comes out.
the feeling very sucks :(

what happen to me?
owhh.
yea,
Did watch drama just now :)
yea.
KOREAN DRAMA =.=
stories is special..
and again I have to say.
Too GOOD to be true and happen in reality :)
I know it's fake.
I know I shouldn't watch anymore..
But I can't tahan.. =.=
Sis do want mom too boring at home..
and download so many movies for her.
sighhh :(
I dowan go through my holidays with dramas =.=
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow,
I wonder which TOMORROW gonna be the day I do revision.
LAZY LAZY LAZY.
aiyeeeesh. ! =.=

if tomorrow never comes by ronan keating.
this make the midnight romantic :)
I love the lyrics.
Meaningful.. :)
Imagine,
ur love one sing this to you..
playing piano and dedicate this song to you..
you think back ur memories with him and got touched.
am I expert in day-dreaming?
YES I DO.


No doubt,
Seriously grow up a lot..
so a lot :(
AIYEESSH. =.=


again the lonely night.
with kai ru the only sakai who will stay up late :)
we're the night cats.
and now is 4.04am..
sorry people,
I find it weird to sleep early :(

sigh.
soon will off to bed :)

now only I know,
my blog taught people a lot of things.
still :)
I asked myself to be proud of it.
this is the way we learn :D

little cuty wish.

weeeee :D

new song for my blog.
Forever in love,
By Kenny G.
A saxophonist,
sexayy.!

If I've the chance to learn saxophone,
the first song I wanna learn will be this song ;)
It had been my phone's ringtone for quite a long time :O
and I remember many people has this ringtone with me..
And everytime I heard this song,
I tot my phone is ringing =.=

Nice rite? :D
Guy who plays saxophone is the sexiest for me.
Piano the second XD
My future man,
I seriously hope he knows some instruments
:O

Saxophone!
Sexayy and nice :D
Mummy love it too ;D
I'm affected by her actually
hehehe :)
Wanna earn money as lot as I can next time.
Buy my very first saxophone..
I learn and I teach my mom :D
Or sent my mom to learn it XD
I can't wait for the day.

I wish,
My children will know a lot of instruments.
Like LEE HOM :D
I would've prepare a room for them..
Inside got lot of instruments.
and for sure,
It will be a WHITE GRAND PIANO there.
and,
A WHITE VIOLIN.
it's nice for this two instruments to be in white ;D
I've saw one white violin in Jusco Yamaha centre
But I dono how to play :D
If not for sure I'll be demanding for it :D

My house must be a banglo house,
My parent and parent-in-law,
will be leaving with me
and a Musical room for my children..
Imagine that.
It's so amazing :D

If 2012 never comes,
I do hope the these little cuty wishes will be accomplished.
Needa work hard :O
It used a lot of money,
and follow what God have arranged for me.
I wish,
my husband will be a super FREAKING nice one :D

OMG.
I'm thinking too far again.
SOWIE ;D
I enjoy myself for day-dreaming everyday.
I'm so soli XD

SIAO :S

it's almost 2 am now.
I'm still not in the mood to bed.
may be finish blogging,
only off :)

again,
I emo again. :(
sigh.
I wish there's someone who's as siao as me.
at 2am still not sleeping..
wanna find someone to chat...
yet all's sleeping :(
I'm not alone actually.
But I made myself so alone =.=

I just feel that.
I'm so lousy in everything.
Seriously dislike to put in effort in order to succeed.
Yea, I'm lazy.. :(
I've told you all,
I'm too afraid of those problems :(
I wanna try but I escape it finally :S
I hate, I hatE!
Absolutely hating it!!
:'(

November gonna end.
Promised myself to revise some form 4 stuff,
and use this holiday wisely.
But ended up everyday with lot of excuses.
No doubt,
I'm lazy.
It's driving me to hell =(
How good if u can succeed without putting any efforts.
Tat's impossible.
I know :(
Sorry, I'm just escaping.

I wan go for shopping,
Buy whatever I want..
Don't care for the price,
or cogitate whether it suits me anot.
I saw I like,
then I buy.
AND SOMEONE WILLING TO PAY IT FOR ME.
NO NO NO.
it's not gonna happen =.=
I wish what happen in drama will happen in reality too.
those rich and wealthy one,
Buy whatever things they want,
as long as they've a credit card =.=
If I use my dad's credit card to buy everything I want.
I'll be chased out :)
Seriously wanna try :(
It's a way to release ur stress..
Not only fulfill what you want,
But also release ur stress too :(
How good is it?
Who don't wish for that?
Stupid lar if you dowan =.=

sigh,
again Im day-dreaming for those un-logic stuff. =.=
watched too much dramas.
SIGH.
how good lar if it really happens!!
TUT. :/

off to bed finally :(
Asked mummy not to let me wake up at noon =.=
I'll be feeling regretted for wasting my time again.
I've been a couple of days not eating my breakfast.
you know,
MY LUNCH IS MY BREAKFAST.
MY BREAKFAST IS MY LUNCH.
Applause, lai lai lai!
When I on fb whenever I woke up,
The SPM candidates had updated their status :O
get what I mean?
People finished 2 papers only I woke up :)
Am I amazing?
WEE :D

Off to bed.
I'm serious.
Really off-ing to bed.
Yes I am.
Please trust me -.-
I'M SERIOUS.

argh, siao of feeling too bored.!

A-BU-JIAK! :D

emo emo emo

korean drama,
heart feeling pain whenever I finished all the episodes.
It's with happy ending,
My heart is still in pain.
I'm weird.
And the feeling is more complicated :(
It makes me so freaking emo now.

how good if everything can happen like wad u've seen in drama.
whenever u're sad, happy, angry, feeling so helpless.
and another one appear.
even though he's with a bad purpose,
but it seriously warms ur heart.
and the end the both of them fall in love..
the drama ended with a happy ending.

alright.
don't says that I'm silly.
I am silly indeed :)
How good if things can happen like wat's happening in drama,
a fairytale love story,
everyone hopes for it. :(
sorry,
am day-dreaming =.=
things that happened in drama seemed to be very easy,
but actually it isn't.
no wonder some parents don allow their children to watch too much dramas.
seriously got no advantage =.=
It makes u dream more about those un-logic things.
but, why it can't happen in reality :(

those setbacks seriously made me downcast.
don't feel like getting up anymore.
wanna be tough,
yet it's seriously not an easy thing :(
I asked others to be tough.
yet to take action,
it will be harder than what you said...




the best motivation video ever.
'' if I fail and I gave up, do you think I'm able to get up? NO.''
what he said touched me.
Edison, a well know inventor.
He invented the electric light bulb,
which wad we're using now..
Someone told me,
he've tried more than hundred times.
and us?
not more than 5 times and we gave up.
To brace up and get up,
The strength and the motivation are seriously important.
I noe I shouldn't give up easily.
But I'm lost without the strength and the motivation.
I though I'm good,
But actually I'm not.
Being too confident,
Sometimes it will lead u too the biggest disappointment.

One day,
I wish to tell people,
I get up myself.
I braced up myself.
With no mercy from others,
and I did everything myself and I got successful.

It's a little frustration.
Why am I getting so furious and feeling gloomy for it?
I dowan to fail the second time.
I hate to know that,
When I fall I have to find someone to brace myself up.
I'm now 16 years old :'(
When I got to be independent?
Mummy will not always be with me.
Friends will one day got annoyed for all my problems.
I'm the most important one for myself when I've problem.
It's just the beginning of the journey of my life.
I've a lot to go.
Giving up so easily will lead me to succession?
I need the strength.
God, guide me :(

Tears which can express everything out.
But it isn't something which can help you everytime.
It helps you to get better,
but now solving all the problems.
Crying doesn't solve all the matters.
It shows how fragile you are.

SPM next year.
I think I'll collapse again like wad happened during PMR.
Piano next year.
And now I got stressed.
I do not really enjoy it anymore,
why ? :'(
Saw others who learned music,
they're so addicted to it.
Why didn't I ?
No one exerts pressure on me.
I request too much succession to myself.
I wanna prove to my parents.
But it's like,
I did everything for them. :(
When I'll know,
Everything I worked hard is for my own good?
I'm afraid to fail.
But if I'm so coward to try everything.
I'm not gonna success :(

I wish to be independent.
Not to dream that there's a shoulder for me to lean on.
Not to dream that there's a muscular chest for me to lean on.
Not to dream that there will be a warm hug for me to cry and express everything out.
I dowan to act like I'm very tough.
I wanna be the seriously tough one. :(

God,
guide me please.
I hate to fall down again.

the naked truth =(

truth.
get to know what it means.
it hurts people,
it's an unacceptable fact,
and even no one will accept it.


fakeness.
it's too kind,
people accept it,
and even feel more comfortable with it.



a naked truth.
is always the unacceptable one.



I wonder,
should I be true anymore.
as I knew I hurt people again.
So,
keep it and express out my feeling with someone.?
no.
it considered as betraying ur friend.
so..
wad can I do?

choose.
be true to u = I hurt you and u'll dislike me.
be fake to u = I betray you, u dono and I'm still ur friend.
i'm curious if this case happening on me.
which should I choose.
and people,
which u willing to choose? :)


sad to know that.
I'm not able to comfort my own friend.
sad to know that.
when I sad,
the first who I share my problems with.
will never be my best friends..
I looked so pathetic actually..
hehe haha here and there.
chat with this abit,
laugh with that abit..
when come to my problems,
I seriously dono who to talk with.
cuteNYA.
well, not ur fault.
it's my problem..
I blame no one for this...
:)

It's almost 4.30am now,
Im still not sleeping yet.
Why?
cause my fb and msn is on-ing.
nice excuse..
Keep on refreshing my home page in fb.
I got nothing to do but haven't off =)
Good job.
Applause please.. :)
Off to bed ba..
nitez everyone...

accept it or ignore.
try it..
I've tried,
I've ignored..
and now I seriously forgotten,
wat's happening last time .

holidays!

hey, I'm back again!
am free from every burdens. :D
exam finally OVER.
f5 is leaving :(
aihs, next year is my turn to be taken pic with.
i'll miss u all.
especially my prefects seniors..
thanks for everything tat contributed by u all =)
good luck in ur SPM.!

anyway,
had a great day yesterday..
with dear the whole day..
for her bday :)
enjoyed it very much.
especially the DPC's tom yam..
u wouldn't know how SPICY isit if u dont try it..
anyway,
super CHI GEK.
HOT AND SPICY.
love it super much.
as i've expected to eat tom yam for a long time.
and tat day was a COLD DAY.
awwwww,
i miss it seriously..
yes u're right.
i got my natural sexy lips again.
Nop,
didnt use any lipstick..
when i eat spicy things,
for sure my lips will be swollen in red!
it's super nice.. :O

skipped school today.
when I woke up,
people was gonna end their school time -.-
Slept late and woke up late.
this is the super good habit...
u dono how popular isit,
it's happening to every teenagers.
NO LA,
its exaggerating.. :P
ALMOST every lar XD

anyway,
THANKS GOD.
i can get scholarship next year again.!
my average marks is ngam for the conditions given.
thanks PMR.
You scared me last year,
and now I not dare not to study for exam :O
and I wonder how deadly will the future students be -.-
Form 3 no PMR..
good is no nid stress..
bad is they wouldn't have a lesson for it.
as ur basic is sucks.
u're just gonna suffer...
hope those students can learn about this.
concentrate about studies..
if not,
the one who cries are the one who fail.

this holiday,
mummy ask me to study :O
today baru start lar..
and.
holiday..
HAHAHA.
housework almost all I did :(
I've to help mom,
but im seriously lazy :S
December den have to pack my house..
something like gotong-royong like tat.
and i'm gonna see a lot of ashes for cockroaches..
mummy put a lot of those poison things to let them die :O
I HATE THEM SO FREAKING MUCH. -.-
black and smelly like hell..
and now,
MICE in my house.
ad caught one,
and seemed the number increasing..
we found another two..
one die today..
another one still hiding..
mummy bought one cage.
i'm expecting to see how they'll be caught inside the cage.
they're actually cute.
but being in my house.
u're just ugly and dirty u little SHIT.
=.=

SPM next year.
I HATE IT.
:(
I cannot withstand the stress..
I cannot face it.
PMR a small test.
I cried for two hours for the stress =.=
I just hope.
my SPM result wont be tat SUCKS.
as my mom spend money for my tuition,
and everything on me :(
I wish I'll make her proud..
I do love her seriously :)

I said I'm gonna study for this holiday.
OOOOH.
can I do it -.-?
I need someone to press me.
if not I wont move.
when I'll be independent HUH.


sigh.
things tat I've lost.
please appear as soon as possible..
GOD, please.
let it appears.
thanks for my bio tuition notes to appear again..
this time.
I prayed again.
I hope I didnt lost it..
I'm seriously guilty for it T.T
please my dear Lord :(
I hope I found it one day.
the best is tomorrow...
please..
I'm so guilty for it :(

off to bed,
nites people!

tat's the fact.
ignore, accept, improve.
i got my style..
im good enough for those thing to happen =.=
anyway,
i'll just improve myself more and more.
I shouldn't be caring bcuz of the small matter.
I know,
this is how we learn :)

everything :P

people,

I'M BACK.


but not from the end of the final exam.
Anyway,
8 down, 2 more to go!
which is add math and physics ;D
orps,
my weaker subjects :O

no one likes exam.
whenever i woke up early in the morning,
I will be caught by flu.
ah chiu ah chiu ah ah ah chiuuuu.. hoo!
wad u will be used to hear this in my class.
i hate it.
it's just suffering =.=

taking rest.
am gotta start add math revision later.
God bless me to concentrate please.
It's hard for me to concentrate nowadays,
brain is like something stucked inside...
kinda frustrated with it.
sigh. :(

dying for chemistry test yesterday.
argh :(
understood everything actually,
but the paper 1 frightened me,
and i got everything confused.
feel like crying too :/
aim for B enough.
no C please,
it's ugly :/

close topic about exam kay..

...........................................................................................................


Anyway,
just know about the news,
that 2012 seriously gonna happen.
the scientists say so.
my english is sucks,
so go to my facebook page and find for the news.
but it's in chinese lar :O
i just noe that after 21 of December,
we'll be gone through 3 days with temperate zero degree Celsius.
no sun.
it's like we're gonna be frozen.
and many people will died.
the reason why,
it's hard for me to explain about it.
but 3 days after,
which is almost near to Christmas,
there will be the day.
GOD,
I pray hard to be survived and have the chance to witness everything.
Don't bring anyone away from me,
especially my FAMILY MEMBERS.
and all my friends.
please,
without them,
I couldn't live my life.
especially my family..
If you have to,
bring me along too.
I dowan to live alone,
I wanna be with my family members forever if can :(
hope so that we wouldn't suffer from any pain,
or anything that is terrifying.
God,
PLEASE,
save us :(
be our savior.
AMEN.

cherish everything and everyone beside you now.
as you've seen natural disasters everywhere.
flooding, earthquake and eruption of volcano.
many people lost their lives..
and now,
even road accidents :(
i'm seriously sad when I read newspaper.
how good if no one will leave?
life is unpredictable.
SO UNPREDICTABLE.
appreciate it,
and.
DO NOT TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE.
appreciate ur life.
some of them don even have a chance to survive,
and they do wish that they could have it :(
problems will be solved one day.
but as you commit suicide,
the problems are still there.
YES,
u'll be free from suffering.
but the people around you is suffering.
DON'T BE SELFISH.
don't give up easily too.
Remember,
never say die :)

Nyway,
after the final exam is over,
I will be ready to become a form 5 SENIOR.
and the seniors are leaving :'(
well,
I dowan to.
mummy said,
previously u're still in kinder-garden,
ur hand is still smaller den mine.
still shorter den me.
and everything changed in a blink of eye.
sigh.
i wish i will be a teenager forever. :(
am enjoying my school life now.

a passage that i saw in fb.
it's meaningful.
read it..

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

get the meaning of it?
The eraser represents the parents.
whereas the pencil represents their children, which is US.
They're always there for their children,
cleaning up their mistakes.
Sometimes along the way...
they get hurt,
and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on).
Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse),
but parents are still happy with what they do for their children,

and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying,
or sad.


"All my life, I've been the pencil..
And it pains me to see the eraser,
that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day.
For I know that one day,
all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings
and memories of what I used to have..."
just for the parents by the writer :)

I pray hard,
telling myself.
I must treat both of my parents well,
if I have the chance.
and also,
My dad will change his attitude,
become a Christian.
and will not always with the straight look.
I admit,
I dislike my dad.
even think of only take care of my mom well and just let him alone.
the feeling is just sucks to say this.
I say it out but I seriously don't mean this.
they're both important for me.
without them,
I won't be existed.
and I won't be learning piano, attending tuition.
and even have a good result in my exam
or success in my life.
To put it laconically,
my family members have to be with me.
they're important for me.
I need them.
SO SO SERIOUSLY.
:)

i dowan to be independent,
i wish to be loved, be appreciated.
childishness make me look naive perhaps.
with my family members,
i wont be alone.
Daddy, mummy, bro, sis.
u all are important to me :)