:S

now only I know,
I will just hurt myself once I care of someone too much.

now only I know,
one who treats me good will become lesser as time passes by.

now only I know,
you might or might not get some redound from the person you're being good to.
yet the one u oways neglected,
are the one who attach importance to you.

now only I know,
one's attitude will has so much difference.

now only I know,
when u're moody,
and 've spoken out something bad,
you couldn't ask ppl to understand you.
they ain't your parent.
see how important ur parent is.

now only I know,
two people who always be together,
not really considered as best friend,
or may be there's no special relation between them.

now only I know,
handphone is to let ppl to find you only when they need you,
but not to strengthen the relationship or friendship.

now only I know,
how big difference between the reality and ur own thinking..

now only I know,
I'm growing up and not longer the small kiddo,
have to get use to everything.

now only I know,
the one that considered as a best friend,
might not be the really best sometimes.

now only I know,
without the determination and patience,
u'll fail for everything.

now only I know,
how important is it to have someone to company by my side.

now only I know,
I don't really believe in forever.

now only I know,
there's lot of thing happening out of ur expectations.

now only I know,
the more perfect you demand for,
the more you can't done it well.

now only I know,
tears, being emo,
seriously doesn't solve anything.

now only I know,
people used to think that they're not actually tough,
because they need someone to understand them more.

now only I know,
when u're so alone and got no one to chat to,
u can only ask '' doing wad '' to those who not really close to you.

now only I know,
I find 1am is too early to have a nice sleep..

now only I know,
I really hate to regret on something I've not done.



now only I know,
I got better now -.-
and I wonder what happened just now.
and now seems the bad feeling back again.
sry, I dono what I'm talking -.-



sigh.

eH!
I've been a long time didnt upload my perasan pic >.<
pai seh larrr XD,
camera tak de battery after the last day of schooling,
as you noe who am I,
saya memang sangat lazy :D
do you noe,
how long my phone was abandoned by me :)?
i wonder too, about 4 days?
hmph.
yea,
out of battery again.
tapi ada credit larrr..
to those who everytime cant call me,
pai seh lorhx!
later I go charge lar okay? XD

well,
am gonna put my perasan pics.
picSSSS arh :)
all same shirt >.<
taken today XD
those who find me disgusting,
tolong click the X and leave :D
I wont give any damn about it,
bcuz I got no interest on you ;D



ready?
heee :D


've been a long time tak act cute!
muahahahhaha.
not dare to put on fb,
later all critic on me =.=
so I put here :D
you go no right to stop me from posting it XD
ini blog saya
bluehhh :D

sorry if I really fail in acting cute >.<

fringe ar fringe,
waiting you grow longer :D

love this :)

the difference between with and without spec :)

big head :O

it's original :D
I don't edit picture :)



finished :O
got mood surely will take again XD
I'm actually perasan,
and my personality different with wad u've seen from the pic arh.
I'm not soft one,
but the clumsy and rude one.. XD
and a klutz :D

anyway,
I considered it as a special thing of me :P
live with my own style :)


one more. :D
nak recommend you all something,
promotion time :O

people,
if you found this handfree in pasar malam,
buy it and use bah..
I'm using this,
very useful XD
in white, quite nice one :)
RM10 jek :O
very convinient too :)





gtg :)
mommy suffering from illness :(
may God cure her as soon as possible :(
hate to see her suffering :/



wait for my next post yea :D

sigh

and.

I thought before,
I touched before,
I got feeling before.

and.

I miss before,
I moody before,
I need you before.

and.

I smile before,
I laughed before.
I enjoyed it before..



when things coming to an end,
it will be ended.
when feeling is going to be faded down,
it will be faded..
everlasting is actually fake.
or may be it last,
but feeling, everything gonna be very very different.

and at last,
everything is gonna be summarized into memories.


i'm naive actually,
so seriously.


no one is perfect,
and also few people wanna be the better one.
or it's when you hurt someone,
only you will change.

an advice.
find a true friend,
more than having a big big gangs of friends.
u'll never know how pathetic you are,
until u met troubles,
until something happened out of ur expectations.


let bygone be bygone.
true :)
yet,
from word to deed is actually a big big SPACE.
saying is oways easier den doing it.

R.I.P Alviss Kong..

emo.. :(

whenever I on for fb,
his news appear again and again.
those like pages, videos, comments etc.
I've no idea why will moody bcuz of the video..
or may be I'm just emo-ing again? :(

guess everyone knows that news,
seriously hope that his family and the girl will be fine..
and god bless his mom too who hvn't knew about the tragedy happened :(

he just did what he promised before,
he'll love her till the moment he dies.
and he really did it.
isit the so called power of love?

yea.
for you, u die majestically.
because of love. :)
but. how about ur family and the one u love deeply ?
u got the braveness to suicide,
but u don hv the braveness to survive..
frankly,
you even drag ur love one to hell..
ur dead is her biggest shadow in her life ever.
I noe,
it's not easy to continue ur life after being hurted.
ever heard of '' every cloud has a silver lining '' ?
It is always possible to get something positive out of a situation,
no matter how unpleasant,
no matter how difficult
or
even how painful it might seem.
if everyone die bcuz of the obstacles in life..
many people will go suicide,
and no one will achieve.

Alviss Kong,
I wonder are you suffering now :(
I really hope God can forgive you :(
Please don't be so silly anymore in ur next life.
I've never ever seen any guy like you..
hope u can really rest in peace..

may be I don't really understand ur situation,
but I really hope that,
you can think of ur family and ur ex.
how much hurt u gave to them?
and ur mommy? :(

this is not the first time u attempt suicide,
for ur first ex,
u did silly things like this too.
lucky ur frens had stop you..
but this time,
they tot it was a prank..
they took it as a joke,
and don't give any damn about it.
sigh sigh sigh,
if they concerned about it,
if they informed his dad to becareful with him,
I think this tragedy will not be happened D:

things ad happened,
it's useless for me to talk so much.
I didn't feel angry for the guy,
I just feel wasted and not worth it :(
This incident isn't a fashion at all.
Hope so there will not be another case similar as this.
there is still many people wish for longer lifespan,
to enjoy everything in this world..
think of ur family, ur lovely frens....
please :(

love, is in all aspects.
it's not only the feeling between guy and gurl..
bare in mind on this please.

and the girl,
may be people blaming you right now,
but I don't..
no one did wrong in this case..
shouldn't be blaming anyone for this,
I can ensure that the girl have been few days didnt rest well.
and her eyes probably swelling for crying everyday.
I don't think so she's enjoying for his left.
I just wish that,
she can brace up,
and turn over a new leaf..
I support you....
Hope you'll be alright.. :(

and his family,
take care urself..
and pray for his mommy,
who dono anything about this. :(
my heart is in pain now :(


love,
I don hope to say it's a murderer. :(


it should be something nice, sweet and memorable.


people,
treasure your love one.
please.

failed T.T

somehow,
I wish I've a shoulder for me to lean on..
somehow,
I wish I've muscular chest for me to cry on..

again,
no one could chat with me.
feeling so so so depress :'(
i'm crying again..

today,
right now..
i should be viewing the video which completed by me..
Receiving the complimenting comments from others..
Ying ying cry because get touched..
and others cry of the video..
yet, I failed to do oit..

Ying ying,
sorry for my failure.. :'(
Wai Nean is right, my skill isn't that good..
I did not consider for the time limit to upload video in fb..
the video tat I made is 33 mins,
but fb is 20 mins maximum.
FAILED.
the video is with wishes, pictures etc and etc.
and because of my carelessness,
it ruined :S
how's it?
let say the word should be appear in o:30
but i add one picture in and become all the words appear earlier,
ad clash with other pictures :'(
you will noe if u saw that video.
FAILED.

I always wish for something perfect.
but ended up imperfectly..
can I know why? :'(
if the video isn't made by me..
guess it's be done successfully...
sorry guys,
I ruined it :'(
I'm so sorry..

first day of making that video,
I slept at 4am..
second day,
I slept at 6am,
which is the time my dad woke up for jogging..
and today 7th..
the whole afternoon and night,
I'm doing the video..
I thought it'll be done perfectly,
and I add something in,
and everything ruined...
when I saw it already too late,
already uploaded to the computer and in the process to fb..
sorry,
I'm so sorry..

Ying ying,
I tot I could represent everyone to give u the best bday present ever.
but I failed :'(
really sorry..
the surprise gone..
I'm the one who ruin everything..
Pui man, sorry too :'(

My effort wasted,
My energy wasted,
My time wasted.

Mom nagged me to use the time wisely..
and I use it to do this video..
and ended up so suck like now :'(
it's 8ve..
I wasted half of my holiday..
Sorry mommy,
I'm sorry..
again, I'M STRESSED T.T

4 months something to my piano exam..
I dowan to fail again :'(
But when I played it wrongly,
I have no mood to correct it and proceed my exercise :(
My hands are in pain,
Fingers are in pain..
And I'm seriously lack of patience..

I don't the basic thing that I should have now.
Confidence and strong determination..

My dear Lord,
can you help me? :'(
please listen to my prayer,
and guide me in my way :'(
please.

I dowan to live like this.
I hate to regret so much of thing.

should I repair the video?
should I? :'(